Shawn Spencer: [while making something in an Easy Bake Oven] That depends. Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
Adrian Monk: It's a gift... and a curse.
Shawn Spencer: Hang on Doogie. Where'd you get that juice box and does it come in grapalicious?
Adrian Monk: Speed dating? No, no, that's like Dante's Seventh Circle of Hell.
Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
Sharona Fleming: Ow. Why do I always have to be the victim?
Adrian Monk: Because the victim usually ends up on the ground, in the dirt. And... I'm me.
Carlton Lassiter: Hey, we found prints.
Shawn Spencer: Was he in a little red corvette?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Under the cherry moon?
Carlton Lassiter: FINGER prints!
Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not...